The Sacrifices of War

As we fire up our grills this weekend, head to the beach or catch that parade, let's not forget the reason we have a three day weekend.

It can be easy to do just that if we don't know someone who is in the military, or we haven't seen the sacrifices they've made first hand. Although I have cousins who have served their country, I have two currently in the Army and Marines, it was way before then that I learned to appreciate sacrifice.

When I was a reporter in Georgia, one of my first assignments was to interview two elderly gentlemen who had served in the Pacific Theater during World War II. The movie "Saving Private Ryan" had just come out and the daily newspaper wanted me to get the veterans point of view. The brothers delved into their experiences overseas, especially their part in helping to rebuild the Irrawaddy Bridge in Burma. They spoke so proudly of their time there, getting somber only when remembering friends who perished over there. This was actually the first time in my life I had ever spoken to any World War II veteran so I couldn't fully appreciate their reflections- yet.

Two year later I found myself working at a nursing home and it was here that I really got to understand what soldiers sacrifice. I was interviewing Blanche, a woman in her 80s, who I always found quiet and kept to herself. Blanche began to tell me how a persistent suitor finally got her to fall in love and marry him in the early 1940s. Soon after they were married Blanche got pregnant and had a son. Her husband, like so many at that time, enlisted leaving his new family to serve as a proud member of the 82nd Airborne Division. The couple wrote to each other often, telling each other how they would be together soon enough when the war was over. On June 6, 1944, Blanche's husband was one of thousands who were part of a secret assault, the Normandy Invasion. She got a letter two weeks later that her husband was missing in action and presumed dead. Nearly 60 years later, Blanche still looked devastated remembering the life that could have been. Though she later remarried and divorced, she still carried the scars of a widowed soldier's wife. Her husband, and her family, truly did give the ultimate sacrifice for freedom.

Six months before 9-11 I went on a trip to France with my husband and his family. Normandy was on our itinerary and if it wasn't for Blanche's story and this trip I never would have come to fully appreciate our veterans. As I stood on Omaha beach looking at the wounded landscape, I was humbled by the many lives lost on the beach so many years ago. When I walked through the American Cemetery, I was overwhelmed by the thousands of headstones stretching on to the horizon. Though this trip was not as glamorous as going to Paris, it was the best part of it. I learned a lot more from that trip and Blanche, than I ever did in a textbook. But make no mistake, though these brave soldiers sacrificed so much, our soldiers today have also sacrificed.

We may not all agree with the politics in this country, or why our troops are serving in the Middle East, we certainly owe it to our soldiers to give them the respect and the dignity for the bravery they have shown. So many of our young soldiers are coming back to live new lives as amputees, or to heal the psychological scars of what they saw over there. The least we can do is say "thank you" though it doesn't seem sufficient.

Keeping It $imple

This past weekend we had the pleasure of going to a little town in Connecticut to see our niece make her First Communion. As beautiful a ceremony it was, the one thing that really struck me was how simple the celebration was.

The girls were dressed in simple white dresses with understated veils - the complete opposite of the usual overblown affairs you see here on Long Island. If you don't believe me, just go check out the many Communions taking place this month. The dresses look more like miniature versions of bridal gowns. I recently heard the outrageous price tag for one of these "designer" dresses your little darling can wear on her special day and I couldn't believe my ears! A dress with all the trimmings can run families upwards of $1,000 not including the reception at a catering hall to follow!

That's a scary prospect for me as the mother of twin daughters! I'm going to have to explain to my daughters one day soon why we won't spend that kind of money on a dress they are going to wear once! It's tough enough feeling like you have to compete against the other parents who shower their children with name brand apparel without a second thought. Not all of us have the luxury nor the desire to do the same.

If celebrating our children's milestones comes with such a hefty price tag what will their future proms, weddings or other big events cost? Have we lost sight of what's important? In a time where many Americans are tightening their belts for survival, how can we afford not to revert back to the simple things in life?

What a shame that many parents feel that they have to compete to buy the most over the top Communion dresses when it's really more about what the day means for the children. Luckily for my niece her mom never lost sight of that and dressed her daughter appropriately to anticipate an exciting day in her religious journey. If only the rest of us could follow the same example, we would all be better for it. Especially our children.

Fifty Shades of Freaky

It’s the dirty little secret moms are talking about in hushed whispers. The book series, “Fifty Shades of Grey” has been THE hot topic among women for the past three months. The series focuses on the relationship between naïve college student Antastasia Steele and the domineering billionaire Christian Grey. What is it about the series that has everyone talking?

The author E.L. James, who was recently on Long Island for a book-signing, admits the book started out as “Twilight” fan fiction but rapidly took a turn of its own. For many of us thirty-somethings who picked up the love affair between Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, “Fifty Shades” was the adult version gone to the extreme.

But what really has the moms talking is what the books have done for relationships. The steamy storylines have reinvigorated relationships that have long been in a rut. For many of us, between working a job, caring for our families, taking care of ourselves, shuttling all over the place, it sometimes doesn’t leave enough time for romance and the connection that we all crave. We get busy in the day to day hustle and bustle and are too tired to focus on each other’s wants and desires by the time the kids are in bed.

Then you read the books and meet Christian Grey and you remember what it’s like to be desired, wanted and coveted so desperately that it lights the fire from within. The next thing you know you are seeking out your husband or partner to feel that connection again! You begin to talk again and focus on your relationship – all the while your spouse has no idea why the sudden change!

This week the book series was in the news when a library in Florida decided to ban the books from its shelves. Their reasoning was the book was pornographic and could be read by children searching the stacks. I’m not going to lie – the book has a lot of sex and is graphic in spots. It’s been an education of sorts for many (including me) who didn’t know a thing about the world of doms and subs. But it’s also a world of escapism much like the reality shows on TV, the racy movies, the entertainment fare we feed on in this country, or the outrageous cover of Time Magazine (ah, a topic for next time!)

Sometimes fantasy is better than the real world – if even for a little while.